Sunday, November 8, 2015


Xavier and I made our way to NH for a few days. He'd met my family before, and since he had been in LA and was bound for NYC, I thought time in the country would be nice. And, my mom wasn't doing well, so I wanted some extra time there.

Jeff —then living in Hoboken and traveling the US for his job—joined us. He hadn't seen Xavier for some least 18 months. It was fun to see them together and we talked and laughed.

Between showing Xavier around, Jeff's arrival, and my mom sleeping a lot, I didn't see her much. I only have two distinct memories of her on this trip...her tottling off with Jeff to show off the Christmas decorating she had started, and later when we chatted briefly in private. I apologized for my divided attention and she said how happy it made her to hear me, Xavier, and Jeff talking and laughing. This was the last time I'd see outside a hospital room.

Saturday evening, Jeff wanted to go out for seafood and stop by a gay bar, so we headed to Boston. Summer Shack was fun, but the Paradise was all wrong. Jeff fell into a sad mood (maybe it wasn't sad but the bar had a really strange vibe) and we all just went back to my place in silence.

The next morning, we had an easy start to the day, and they packed up and headed out for NJ. I was ambivalent as they drove off, both happy and warmed by the time and friendship we shared, and saddened by the reality that everything come to an end. 

I understand rabbits and rats don't cohabitate well, so the arrival of rabbits to our neighborhood was welcome. They may carry as many diseases as rats, but they are just so darn cute. And while Mr. Darby was bonkers everytime he saw a rat, he doesn't care so much as the bunnies. 

Turning from Jeff and Xavier as they departed to walk back to my building, I saw this rabbit and started to cry. It just represented so much at that moment.

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