Sunday, September 25, 2011

My Death

Fish-philes know I suffer from debilitating headaches. I am convinced my death will come as my brain expands and explodes through my skull.

Let me explain:

You and I know that the skull is made up of several bones, held together by elastic-y sutures. For some time, I thought my brain was pushing out along one of these natural connection points causing one side of my skull to have a sharp, near-90-degree angle (B) rather than a gentle curve (A). But, no.

The ridge is the temporal line, also naturally occurring, but mine has been increasingly sharpening, which is worse than the theory above. If the above were true, the elastic-y sutures would allow for some give, like the earth's crust movements. Instead, my head will explode out like a volcano (C).

My doctor won't entertain this notion. I consulted a biologist who also disagrees with me. And, I've consulted a geologist, who tells me volcanoes form along fault lines (sutures). He insists the pressure exerted against my skull by my brain is more likely to kill me than it is to make my skull explode like a volcano. He did, however, suggest I keep my head from becoming excessively warm.

All this has only convinced me I'm right. All these people telling me how wrong I am—methinks these ladies doth protest too much!

Once, a palm reader told me I'd die abruptly (now young, but suddenly). That's cool, I'm ready to go. Rather, I've been working on my will with an attorney, so I'll be ready to go in a few weeks, once it's notarized.

Crazy, you say? My doctor and neurologist can't account for the headaches, nor can they offer any suggestions to minimize them. take that! :-)


Xavier Lancel (SCARCE) said...

Or can it simply be that you are crazy? Seems a lot of people these days fantasize about the sharpness of their backskull... I think you should ask for advice to the Leader (you know who I mean), obviously not until 2013 since he has been spot each year on the last week end of January toward angouleme in France....:p

Tim Fish said...

you won't let me live down that I won't be at angouleme this year!!! :-(

seriously, are a lot of people thinking about their skulls? maybe it's contagious...

Aman Chaudhary said...

Eek! o_O;;

Glenn Ingersoll said...

I woke with a gigantic headache on Sunday and then again on Monday. Because I exercised! Yes, that's right. Exercise gives me headaches. Especially yoga.

I think it's because I have a scoliosis (offset in spine) and working to loosen that or strengthen the spine causes spasms in the muscles and big headaches. It happens suddenly at certain, uh, climactic moments, too, and that's totally wrong. Headrush, man.

By the way, I just finished The Reason Is Love, which I picked up at the Alternative Press Expo in SF last weekend. Nice to have another Fish under my belt.

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